Let's Try This Again

Hello everyone!  It has been nearly a year since my last post and I apologize for that.  I have come to the realization that I have gone beyond any weight that I have ever been at!  I am about 5"1' and today at Weight Watchers I weighed in at a STAGGERING 273.8!  

Now for whatever reason as you can see my app is not reflecting tonight's weigh in.  However I took a screen shot of this screen to show you, what I was at 7/27/15.  I was at 281.8.  That is very, very close to 300.   At 5"1', that is simply not ok.  Not healthy, and not normal.  It really disgusted me a bit.  I am ashamed of myself and what I have allowed myself to do to my body.  I realized today that recently I have been doing nothing but eating.  At work while sitting at my desk working and eating, at home while relaxing, eating.  I think a lot of it has to do with being stressed, some of it with being depressed and some of it with simply being bored.  

At times I think simply maybe I need to change up my antidepressants.  But really I just need to monitor my food and stop eating everything in sight.  Oh and of course go to the gym.  Or do anything to put more activity in my life. 

I need to do something. Today in Wright Watchers we talked about our stories of why we joined and why we keep doing it.  This is my why...

My mom - died December 2011 due to a blood clot that went to her lungs.  She was thinner then me and still not healthy. Led a pretty sedentary life style and very much an unhealthy one. 

I want to look good naked.  I want to feel good naked.  

I want to feel good, inside and out.  

I want to do it for the "daaaaaaamn you look hot"!

I want to do it so I can find my +1.  I don't have a significant other and I feel a bit sad and pathetic. 

These are my reasons.  I realize that a lot of them are very superficial and probably silly to some, but I really am so tired of being fat and sad and pathetic.  

Anyway.  I need to get back on the metaphorical horse and get to it.  I won't loose this weight by doing nothing to change. Wish me luck.  I hope you will stick by me in this journey.  I hope my struggles and successes will encourage you.