I am sad at the thought of not being able to have my own kids, myself anyway. I would have to have a surrogate.
I am scared that something will go wrong and that my pain meds won't work. (I hate being resistant to meds). I am also nervous for these reasons. I guess I could really lump the two together...I'm nervcred? I'm scarvous? I don't know. Whatever it is...it is.
I am hopeful that I will no longer have these issues and that this in turn will help me lose weight. Yes, I do know that many people say they gain weight after, but per research I have done on the internet which I have no site for (I think it was WebMD) it said that women gain weight after this surgery due to prolonged periods of not doing anything. Now you may be wondering, hmmmm, why does she hope to lose weight? This has nothing to do with losing weight, does it? Well you would be correct, it doesn't. My theory and hope is two fold. One, when you take out a uterus, tubes and a cervix, that's a whole lot of tissue! That's gotta weigh at least a couple pounds right?! That is my less logical hope. My second hope/theory is that it will curb my appetite a bit for meat. You see even though I have had this stupid gushing period for many years now, and I have lost many pints of blood due to it throughout the years, I have never been anemic or lacked iron. I propose that this is due to my craving for meat. This being said I hope that after my surgery I will stop craving meat so much since my blood level will even out and I won't need so much iron. Now honestly, I don't know if this is realistic or not. I told my doc this theory and she didn't dispute it so I think it gives it merit. I guess only time will tell. :)
And I am excited! I am excited to finally feel like I have control over my body. I am excited to spend some quality time with my sis who will be taking care of me Friday and Saturday night. (Thursday I spend the night at the hospital). And I am excited to get to spend time at home for a couple weeks and get some reading done for my Insurance class test in September.
Now in all honesty we will see how things develop and maybe I will just spend the next two weeks knocked out.
I printed off a Last Will and Testament form and a Living Will form. The things you can find online. I tell ya! But you have to think of these things before going under the knife. You can't leave things up to chance...well let me rephrase that, you SHOULDN'T leave things up to chance.
Anyway I should probably go back to getting my place cleaned up before tomorrow. Don't want to come home to an obstacle course. :)
Good night everyone and wish me luck tomorrow. I'm thinking good thoughts!
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