My day started out awesome! On Wednesday I decided to measure my waist, hips, and bust, I think I posted a picture of that a couple days ago. WELL today I re-measured myself and I was down one inch in the hips, one inch in the bust and one and a half inches in the waist! In 3 days! I was so ridiculous excited! It made me believe that I can get down to a size medium in 3 months!
Then at work we were playing UNO between calls because it was pretty darn slow and a couple of friends took a picture of us playing and posted it on Facebook. That was a bit of a wakeup call. That was depressing. That was frustrating. (I'm the one in the blue print shirt, yeah no makeup today.)
The below picture shows how I drew myself in my Weight Watchers book exercise. The drawing was to depict how I saw myself at the beginning of my journey. I realize now, given the above pictures from today, how actually appropriate that picture is. When I showed people that drawing they laughed and said "you don't look like that". But I really do, it's not that far off. It's a bad excuse but this is part of the reason why and how I got this way. People always told me no, you aren't that big, you're not fat. It really creates a false sense of comfort, it creates a false sense of comfort. It creates denial. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying people should go around telling people they are fat, but don't tell people who are size 18/20 plus, yeah you are the perfect size. I am currently a size 18/20, I am nowhere near the perfect size. I am not healthy. I have sleep apnea, high blood pressure and am constantly tired. This is where "you are not big or you are not fat" and self denial has gotten me. Sad but true.
I went from climbing the roller coaster, feeling excitement, feeling happy and those butterflies in my stomach, to a plummeting feeling of dread as the roller coaster shot down. I felt scared and doubtful and worried. All my self insecurities climbing to the top.
After work I went to the gym and due to short weekend hours I had less then an hour to get in, change, work out and get out. I used my time fairly well I thought. Did half an hour on the treadmill and sweated up a storm. Figured out where I'm at with my distance per minute and where I need to go. The first picture is where I'm at now for distance per minute. The next picture shows what I need to pump it up to. UFTA!!!
When I got home though and plugged in my ActiveLink (which decided to work), that was another up moment in this roller coaster day. I earned 2 points today with my exercise. My goal per day is 1 point per day, so not too shabby.
Reflecting on this day has been mind blowing and I am ready for bed. Good night all. Sleep well. :)
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